It's like God shit irony all over that family
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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