Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
