is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
