Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
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She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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