what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Moan for me like Helen Keller
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
