The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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