My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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