i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
