capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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