He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
