you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
