I'm going to jail i love you
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
