You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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