I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
