it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize