the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
