If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
