he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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