i already hear my dad disowning me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
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She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
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In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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