Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
