Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
