If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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