I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
