how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
