Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
