does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize