yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
