I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I could fuck to npr.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Panties = found
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