The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
