Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I stole a fireplace last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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