have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
