so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
