I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
