How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
