he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
