What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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