it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
