You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
