Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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