how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
