These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
