I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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