Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
