I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
