I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
