It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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