Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
