Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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