I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
