I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
