Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize