she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize