Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
