Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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