Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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