Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
