physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
