i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
