Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just googled if crying burns calories
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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