i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The ass gains better be worth it
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