I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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